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Mom of Boys: Comic Relief for Moms of the Male Variety {round 3}

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I started writing down things I hear myself or my boys say that I never thought I would hear because, well, they make me laugh. I hope you like them too cause Mom of Boys is now a series on the 3rd Sunday of each month. I know, this is the fourth Sunday. We are tardy this month. If you missed our first Mom of Boys posts be sure to go back!
Let’s explain how this will work and who things were said by…

A = my skinny, karate obsessed, nearly 6 year old 

L = my spunky, snack loving, nearly 3 year old

J = my geeky chic husband

M = me aka mom of boys


This is in no way meant to be a parenting lesson. Just a little peek into our crazy and at times comical lives. 


Mom of boys…things you never thought you’d hear in your home, then you birthed a boy.
A: I want someone to play chess with me. L: I want to play chest.
A: We both peed in the tub and we both tooted in the tub. (a minute later) M: Don’t spit water at each other. Do you really want that water in your mouth?
A: What if I came out of mommy’s tummy when I was a teenager? Ya, that would hurt. And then one of those dentist girls would pull me out of your stomach and be like, whoa.
A: Mom, if you want any of these cookies you better get up here. M: Whoa, maybe you better be done. A: What? You said we can have as many as we want. M: I know but… A: Well, I only want seven and this is my sixth.
M: Get your head out of the toilet.
A: Mom, we are all brothers and sisters because God is everyone’s Father, right? M: Yes, that’s right. A: So, you and Dad are not my Mom and Dad, you are really my brother and sister.
A: You know that brain floating in your head. Well it has radios in it with arms and they play songs that power your brain and your whole body.
M: You are one rad kid! A: Mom, what is rad?
A: Does this scare you because my muscles go in and out and in and out?
M: Rub my feet and I’ll give you a point. L: Rubs feet softly. M: A little harder L: If your feet fall off you won’t have no feet.
A: Mom, someone robbed me and put me in these handcuffs. But, at least they’re blue my favorite color.
M: Don’t eat that, it’s dirty. L: But it doesn’t have a hair on it.
M: Come over here Aiden and let me give you a scar. (Dressing up as Harry Potter)

I am also happy to include my favorites from the comments on last month’s Mom of Boys post:

One of the many funny things I remember them talking about while sharing some sour patch kids candy went a little something like this: 3 yr old: These are hot!!! 9 yr old: (said quietly under his breath) No they’re not…Girls are!!! -Stephany13

My 3 year old, car loving boy sitting on the toilet w/ knees apart and holding onto the toilet bowl rim between his knees “look mom, I’m driving a toilet car!” – Kat

Mine does not even walk or talk yet but somehow this week managed to put ALL the cordless phones on silent mode and it took me 4 hours to figure out how to fix them. The next day he somehow without me seeing, got to the computer and pressed a series of keys locking the keyboard that resulted in having to call our family computer tech friend to fix it.  – The Superior FinishHave your kids made you laugh lately? What comical things have you said or overheard your kids say? Share in the comments and we will choose our favorites to share in our Mom of Boys post on November 17th!
We have decided to truncate our feed to help protect against stolen content. I apologize for any inconvenience. Please love us anyway. 🙂

Mom of Boys: Comic Relief for Moms of the Male Variety {take 2}

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I started writing down things I hear myself or my boys say that I never would have thought I would hear because, well, they make me laugh. I hope you like them too cause Mom of Boys is now a series on the 3rd Sunday of each month. If you missed our first Mom of Boys post be sure to go back!
Let’s explain how this will work and who things were said by…

A = my skinny, karate obsessed 5 1/2 year old 
L = my spunky, snack loving 2 1/2 year old
J = my geeky chic husband
Nothing or M = me aka mom of boys

This is in no way meant to be a parenting lesson. Just a little peek into our crazy and at times comical lives. 

Mom of boys…things you never thought you’d hear in your home, then you birthed a boy.

  1. Where is your Pull-up?
  2. A: I’m juggling my head.
  3. Why are you eating a screwdriver?
  4. Did you just eat something off your foot?
  5. I don’t want to wear your corn as a shoe.
  6. Just eat it. No one wants to eat it once it’s been in your armpit.
  7. J: Are you bare butt naked, where’s your pull-up? L: It’s right here. J: No it’s not, that your wienie.
  8. We don’t hit the deck.
  9. You can’t put your finger in the pencil sharpener. That’s not what they mean by pointer.
  10. Quit biting cables please!
  11. A: So your mom laid you? J: No, chickens lay eggs, people birth. A: No people lay babies out of their tummies.
  12. A: Daddy, I have a new rule. No more unzipping mommy’s pants. (zipper on the side leg pocket of my shorts that all my boys think is funny to unzip)
  13. A: Dad, do you like the vibrating that’s on you? (Xbox controller he put on his lap)
I am also happy to include my favorites from the comments on last month’s Mom of Boys post:
  1. R boy handing J boy soap to use in the shower: do you want to use dads soap or kid soap? Do you want to smell like a man (dads) or like a watermelon? – Camille
  2. While running a bath for my two year old son last week he walked in with a banana in his hand. I told him a banana didn’t need a bath and to please bring it back to the kitchen. Off he went, only to return a minute later with an onion. Again I asked him to put the onion back in the kitchen. He left and once more I turned my attention to preparing his bath when suddenly there was a splash beside me. I looked over to see a sweet potato in the tub among the bubbles.”C! No vegetables in the tub!” – Tawnya
  3. Of course, I have enough to write a novel, but my all time favorite is “No, you cannot put your own p3nis in your mouth”. Really? Why in the world would that cross your mind???!!!! – Jennifer LHave your kids made you laugh lately? What comical things have you said or overheard your kids say? Share in the comments and we will choose our favorites to share in our Mom of Boys post on October 20th!
We have decided to truncate our feed to help protect against stolen content. I apologize for any inconvenience. Please love us anyway. 🙂

Mom of Boys: Comic Relief for Moms of the Male Variety

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I used to take myself pretty seriously. Then, I had boys and realized that if I did not lighten up and learn to laugh at most situations I would go bonkers. I started writing down things I hear myself or my boys say that I never would have thought I would hear. When I am overwhelmed, I turn to this list for a little comic relief. I hope you enjoy them as we are making Mom of Boys a series on the 3rd Sunday of each month.
Let me explain how this will work. If it has an A by it, it was said by my skinny, karate obsessed 5 1/2 year old. If it has an L by it, it was said by my spunky, snack loving 2 1/2 year old. If there is nothing or an M, it was me. This is in no way meant to be a parenting lesson. Just a little peek into our crazy and at times comical lives.
Mom of boys…things you never thought you’d hear in your home, then you birthed a boy.
  1. Don’t put his toothbrush between your toes.
  2. Please don’t pee on the deck.
  3. You can’t ride the four wheeler in the house.
  4. Ok, I’ll lick your lid.
  5. M: Do you want to do tick tock like a clock? A: No, I want to walk on the ceiling.
  6. You can’t have clay in your bed.
  7. Lay down and stop talking about the carwash.
  8. Get that knife out of the light switch!
  9. M: Amy gave us some zucchini. What should we do with it? Eat it? Make bread? A: Ya! Make bikini bread!
  10. A: Dad, let’s have a pee fight.
  11. Fortune: following inner promptings brings quiet accomplishment. A: Good. Quiet accomplishment is all about being a ninja.
  12. Don’t roll your Uncle Jacob.
  13. Laundry is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. Today I got a piece of bark, a feather and a flash drive.
  14. Don’t stand on the blender. It’s not ok.
  15. A: Mom, I am renaming Lincoln President DukeDork. Lincoln, you’re name is now President DukeDork. M: Are you trying to say President Uchtdorf? A: Ya, President Dukedorf.
  16. L: I’m just excited I wear my box undies. My bundies.
  17. You can’t have your hand in your cup when you’re drinking.
  18. Don’t ruin that one, that’s the one you haven’t ruined yet.
  19. Please don’t use your shirt to wipe.
  20. L: Mom, I’m going to water your flowers. M: Using what your water guns? L: This sword (holds up sheeth). M: Um, no let’s not. L: Why? It would be fun.
  21. Don’t put your vegetables on your toes.
  22. A: I would like some eggshell. M: Eggshell? A: Ya, eggshell. M: What? A: That stuff remember. M: Oh..Magic shell? A: Ya.
  23. M: Quit licking your shirt, you’re just making it worse. L: Want me to lick my pants?
  24. Go brush your teeth. Not with a wrench.
  25. A: Mom, you’re my second favorite parent. But, you’re first on the girl’s side.
  26. A: Mom, turn it to the ninja channel. (Lady Gaga Marry the Night comes on the radio.) Ya, this is the one I’m talking about. (It plays the chorus.) I think I heard this on a movie. M: Pretty sure you didn’t. A:Ya, the one with the dragon with two heads. She sings it walking in the woods.
  27. I didn’t know you could stab with a necklace.
  28. Hey, get out of the garbage.
  29. Why would you try to poke a hole in the couch?
  30. Don’t pick your nose with a dirty hand.
Have your kids made you laugh lately? What comical things have you said or overheard your kids say? Share in the comments and we will choose our favorite to share in our Mom of Boys post on September 15th!
We have decided to truncate our feed to help protect against stolen content. I apologize for any inconvenience. Please love us anyway. 🙂