I used to take myself pretty seriously. Then, I had boys and realized that if I did not lighten up and learn to laugh at most situations I would go bonkers. I started writing down things I hear myself or my boys say that I never would have thought I would hear. When I am overwhelmed, I turn to this list for a little comic relief. I hope you enjoy them as we are making Mom of Boys a series on the 3rd Sunday of each month.
Let me explain how this will work. If it has an A by it, it was said by my skinny, karate obsessed 5 1/2 year old. If it has an L by it, it was said by my spunky, snack loving 2 1/2 year old. If there is nothing or an M, it was me. This is in no way meant to be a parenting lesson. Just a little peek into our crazy and at times comical lives.
Mom of boys…things you never thought you’d hear in your home, then you birthed a boy.
- Don’t put his toothbrush between your toes.
- Please don’t pee on the deck.
- You can’t ride the four wheeler in the house.
- Ok, I’ll lick your lid.
- M: Do you want to do tick tock like a clock? A: No, I want to walk on the ceiling.
- You can’t have clay in your bed.
- Lay down and stop talking about the carwash.
- Get that knife out of the light switch!
- M: Amy gave us some zucchini. What should we do with it? Eat it? Make bread? A: Ya! Make bikini bread!
- A: Dad, let’s have a pee fight.
- Fortune: following inner promptings brings quiet accomplishment. A: Good. Quiet accomplishment is all about being a ninja.
- Don’t roll your Uncle Jacob.
- Laundry is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. Today I got a piece of bark, a feather and a flash drive.
- Don’t stand on the blender. It’s not ok.
- A: Mom, I am renaming Lincoln President DukeDork. Lincoln, you’re name is now President DukeDork. M: Are you trying to say President Uchtdorf? A: Ya, President Dukedorf.
- L: I’m just excited I wear my box undies. My bundies.
- You can’t have your hand in your cup when you’re drinking.
- Don’t ruin that one, that’s the one you haven’t ruined yet.
- Please don’t use your shirt to wipe.
- L: Mom, I’m going to water your flowers. M: Using what your water guns? L: This sword (holds up sheeth). M: Um, no let’s not. L: Why? It would be fun.
- Don’t put your vegetables on your toes.
- A: I would like some eggshell. M: Eggshell? A: Ya, eggshell. M: What? A: That stuff remember. M: Oh..Magic shell? A: Ya.
- M: Quit licking your shirt, you’re just making it worse. L: Want me to lick my pants?
- Go brush your teeth. Not with a wrench.
- A: Mom, you’re my second favorite parent. But, you’re first on the girl’s side.
- A: Mom, turn it to the ninja channel. (Lady Gaga Marry the Night comes on the radio.) Ya, this is the one I’m talking about. (It plays the chorus.) I think I heard this on a movie. M: Pretty sure you didn’t. A:Ya, the one with the dragon with two heads. She sings it walking in the woods.
- I didn’t know you could stab with a necklace.
- Hey, get out of the garbage.
- Why would you try to poke a hole in the couch?
- Don’t pick your nose with a dirty hand.
Have your kids made you laugh lately? What comical things have you said or overheard your kids say? Share in the comments and we will choose our favorite to share in our Mom of Boys post on September 15th!We have decided to truncate our feed to help protect against stolen content. I apologize for any inconvenience. Please love us anyway. 🙂
I am the mom of a grown boy. I am going to suggest your blog to my granddaughter who has a 3 yo boy. Thanks for the chuckle!
Oh my gosh. I have 3 boys ages 9, 7, and 3. I’ve discovered nothing is impossible!
R boy handing J boy soap to use in the shower: do you want to use dads soap or kid soap? Do you want to smell like a man (dads) or like a watermelon?
R boy is 8, J boy is 4. I also have a 13 and 6 year old boys + 2 girls. Never a dull moment.
While running a bath for my two year old son last week he walked in with a banana in his hand. I told him a banana didn’t need a bath and to please bring it back to the kitchen.
Off he went, only to return a minute later with an onion. Again I asked him to put the onion back in the kitchen.
He left and once more I turned my attention to preparing his bath when suddenly there was a splash beside me. I looked over to see a sweet potato in the tub among the bubbles.
“C! No vegetables in the tub!”
Never in a million years did I think I would say that!
I have two girls and a baby boy… man most of these I could or have seen my girls do… course not pee fight with dad or on the deck girls usually don’t pee where they’re not supposed to! I have an adventure awaiting me with my wee little one don’t I?
I have an almost 4 year old boy…every day I find myself shaking my head at the things I never thought I’d have to say. My all time favorite is “Get your leg out of the cat door!!” (We had a cat door so the cats could get to their litter boxes in the basement) Boys!!!
Don’t lick the wall!
Said to my 3 year old boy while waiting on line at an amusement park
Of course, I have enough to write a novel, but my all time favorite is “No, you cannot put your own p3nis in your mouth”. Really? Why in the world would that cross your mind???!!!!
I have three boys, 4 if you count my husband. He is the instigator of them all. So this is what he tells the boys if he catches them with their hands in their pants, “quit needling your weener, it’s going to fall off.”