I began jotting down things I hear from my boys because, well, they make me laugh. I hope you like them too because Mom of Boys is a series on the 3rd Sunday of each month. If you missed our first Mom of Boys posts be sure to go back!
A = my skinny, karate obsessed, nearly 6 year old
L = my spunky, snack loving, nearly 3 year old
J = my geeky chic husband
M = me aka mom of boys
This is in no way meant to be a parenting lesson. Just a little peek into our crazy and at times comical lives.
Mom of boys…things you never thought you’d hear in your home, then you birthed a boy.
A: Mom, if I lived in a pile of garbage it wouldn’t bother me much cause I would build a little shack. It wouldn’t be much but it’d be all I got.
A: Mom, when you’re old and I am taking care of you and you wear diapers because you pee in your pants, that’s the only thing I won’t do. Change your diaper. Well, I’ll put a new one on you, but that’s all.
D:No purple minions on Sunday.
M to L: I should record your little funny voice. (hoarse)
A: He sounds like a germ. I know what germs sound like. I can hear them talking in me and he sounds like one.
L: Mom, I’ll give you a kiss if you don’t do what you did.
A: Dad, is he telling the truth?
D: Yes, he asked me.
L: No, I amn’t telling the truth. I’m telling Father.
A: Mom, I only remember one thing from when I was in your tummy and that’s every time you would feed me marshmallows I would throw them to the side in the hole of your intestines because I didn’t want to be chubby. Also, I would keep some of the food to make art with my tiny hands.
L: This isn’t mine, it’s Aiden’s.
M: No, see it has an L at the top. Aiden’s name doesn’t start with an L. Your does.
L: L isn’t my number. I didn’t turn L. I turned 3.
I am also happy to include my favorites from the comments on last month’s Mom of Boys post:
From Ila Pilon:
R our 5 year old (after having a blood draw and literally screaming like he was being forced to eat hot lava)…”Hey guess what L (older brother), I’m off the list.”
L: “What list?”
R: “The secret list at the doctor’s office.”
L: “What does that mean?”
R: “I never have to have another shot or anything ever again…you see…I now have special powers..”
L: “Whatever dude”
Another recent conversation….
R: “Mom, my nose is dripping oil”
Me: “What do you mean it is dripping oil?”
R: “You see, I’m Mater and when Mater gets sick he leaks oil and so I’m dripping oil from my nose”
From Jessica Jones:
Trenton: Can I use your computer to go on Ancestory.com?
Me: Why?
Trenton: Because I want to look up our family history and see if I come from a long line of talented drummers, like Dad.
Me: I guess. But you’d only be able to see Dad’s side because I’m adopted and don’t have any family history.
Trenton: That’s too bad. I bet you come from a long line of Asian bloggers.
Me: Why?
Trenton: Because I want to look up our family history and see if I come from a long line of talented drummers, like Dad.
Me: I guess. But you’d only be able to see Dad’s side because I’m adopted and don’t have any family history.
Trenton: That’s too bad. I bet you come from a long line of Asian bloggers.
From Kimberly Elliot:
After going to see my daughter’s high school musical Hello Dolly, we came out to the parking lot and I said, “I know your grandparents would have loved to have seen that.” My son pops off, “Yea, it was during their time period.” I laughed so hard, but never told my parents how old they were to my sons.
From scallboyz:
Logan: Hey Luke did you know I farted in the tub and it causes bubbles?
Luke: Yes Logan everyone knows farts cause bubbles.
Stop bothering me while I’m pooping.
(as he was sitting in the same bathroom as Logan was taking a bath)
Logan: Well did you know my butt hole vibrates when I fart?
Luke: Seriously Logan I think your lying?
Logan: No Luke hurry up pooping and I’ll prove it.
Me: BOYS-knock it off and finish up in here.
Luke: *whispering..Ok, Logan I’m done
Logan: You have to get close so squat down and look.
After a split second I realize what’s about to happen and I go running in there to see Logan bent over spreading his butt cheeks and Luke squattingdown about 3 inches from his butt.
Luke: I’m ready…let it rip!
Logan: “passing gas”
Luke: OH MY GOSH LOGAN- That was so awesome…your butthole did vibrate…can you do it again?
ME: THAT’S IT…OUT OF THE TUB YOU AND LUKE FINISH UP!
Luke: Yes Logan everyone knows farts cause bubbles.
Stop bothering me while I’m pooping.
(as he was sitting in the same bathroom as Logan was taking a bath)
Logan: Well did you know my butt hole vibrates when I fart?
Luke: Seriously Logan I think your lying?
Logan: No Luke hurry up pooping and I’ll prove it.
Me: BOYS-knock it off and finish up in here.
Luke: *whispering..Ok, Logan I’m done
Logan: You have to get close so squat down and look.
After a split second I realize what’s about to happen and I go running in there to see Logan bent over spreading his butt cheeks and Luke squattingdown about 3 inches from his butt.
Luke: I’m ready…let it rip!
Logan: “passing gas”
Luke: OH MY GOSH LOGAN- That was so awesome…your butthole did vibrate…can you do it again?
ME: THAT’S IT…OUT OF THE TUB YOU AND LUKE FINISH UP!
Have your kids made you laugh lately? What comical things have you said or overheard your kids say? Share in the comments and we will choose our favorites to share in our Mom of Boys post on March 16th.
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M Mommy to 4 says
Oh my gosh! The fart one made my husband and I laugh hysterically! SO funny, but I feel SO bad for that Mom! We did have to tell our four year old not to pee down a vacuum tube once. He’d been carrying it around and suddenly my husband saw him in the bathroom with the tube all lined up, ready to go. MAN, am I glad he caught him in time!
Haley Grossman says
OMG… I have a 7 yr. old boy, 6 yr. old girl and a 5 yr. old boy. We have some pretty crazy stuff going on at my house. My youngest is the one who honestly makes me laugh on a daily basis. He is the child of shock and awe. Everything he does is for that purpose. He is also highly emotional, but his main emotion is anger. So when he gets his feelings hurt he wants to hurt yours back. When he was almost 4 we were driving home from my mom’s house and he was freaking out about something…like screaming. I turned the radio way up and I heard him scream something about me being stupid. I turned it down and said “Jackson, did you just call me stupid?” My precious little almost 4 year old screamed back “No, I didn’t call you stupid. I said you are fat, stupid and a bad cook!”. I was shocked, and all I could do was laugh. Is that horrible? And BTW, I a none of those things…maybe that’s why I thought it was funny.
Last week, the same child had a substitute kindergarten teacher. I told him I had seen her and he said “No you didn’t…what did she look like?” I said “Well, she had brown hair and glasses.” He said “Okay, well was she old?” I said “Yeah, Kind of.” He said ” Okay, well did she have wrinkles?” I said “Yeah, she maybe had a few wrinkles.” He then said ” Okay, well did she have a huge butt?” To which I responded ” Well Jackson, I don’t know. I didn’t see her butt.” He assured me ” Yeah, she did.”
Honestly…this kid makes my day.